This is a very subjective question. Because different people have different mindsets, lifestyles, priorities, family backgrounds, and different expectations from their life partner, it depends on person to person what they consider as the most important things while choosing their life partner.
However, still, some common subjects are usually essential to discuss with your prospect while choosing your life partner.
- Family: In India, marriage is a relationship between two individuals as well as two families. Both families have a significant impact on a couple’s life, irrespective of they are living with the family or in a nuclear family. This is why I kept Family as the #1 topic to consider while choosing a life partner.
So, you can try to know more about your prospect’s family, their family dynamics, family values, their thought process, and expectations from you. Knowing more and more about your prospect’s family before your marriage will surely help you in choosing a suitable life partner for yourself.
- Finance: Money matters! You need money to fulfill your family’s needs before and after marriage. Discussing financial planning with your prospect enables you to take the right decision. So, assessing the current financial status of the person you are going to marry, their expenses, future earning and saving plans, etc., would surely help you.
Note: This is not an easy topic to discuss. Some people could find money-related questions offensive or feel that such questions indicate your greed. For example, your prospect might think you are asking these questions because you need dowry or marry a rich girl/boy. So, you need to make sure to put this topic appropriately.
- Personality: Assessing your prospect’s personality is another crucial thing to consider while choosing your life partner. Anyone’s personality is made up of many things, including, but not limited to:
– Visible Traits like height, health, weight, body shape, appearance, way of talking, tone, gestures, postures, body language, dressing sense, presentation skills, style, sense of humor, etc.
– Along with some Biological Traits like hereditary attributes, resistance to disease, etc., all together contribute to building a person’s personality.
– Along with that, there are many Hidden Personality Traits every person has. Some of them are Adaptability, Anger, Confidence, Decisiveness, Honesty, Intelligence, Loyalty, Sensitivity, Understanding, etc.
Many people focus only on the Visible traits while describing one’s personality, but it is also very much essential to assess Biological and Hidden personality traits before choosing your life partner.
- Eating Habits: This is a topic of heated debate in India today as the variety of food has increased. Many Indian families follow their traditional food habits religiously and want their prospective son-in-law or daughter-in-law to follow them as well. So you can ask related questions like –
– Are you a vegetarian or non-vegetarian?
– Are you on a Mediterranean diet?
– Do you eat animal-based foods (like honey or dairy products), or are you a vegan?
– Are you a vegetarian who eats eggs or fish?
– Do you follow a Jain diet or a Swaminarayan diet?
– Do you eat only halal meat?
- Smoking/Drinking habits: Many people don’t smoke or drink, and they also want a life partner who is strictly neither a smoker nor a drinker. Whereas many other people smoke and drink, and they also want their life partner to accompany them. It is better to know about the smoking and drinking habits of your prospective life partner in either case, to make sure that you both don’t have any issue with each other’s smoking (or non-smoking) or drinking (or non-drinking) habits.
– Do you think these topics are useful to be discussed before saying yes for marriage?
– What other topics are essential according to you to discuss before choosing a life partner?
Let us know in the comments below.
– We have discussed 5 topics from the list of 12 in this blog. To read next 7 topics, please read here: 12 essential topics to discuss before choosing a life partner – Part 2
इस ब्लॉग को हिंदी में पढ़ने के लिए इस लिंक पर क्लिक करें: जीवनसाथी चुनने से पहले चर्चा करने के 12 महत्वपूर्ण विषय (भाग-1)
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