This is the Second Part of the “11 Signs of an immature love relationship” series.
Here we will be discussing topic no. 6-11 of Immature behavior in any love relationship (Husband-Wife, Fiancé-Fiancée, Boyfriend-Girlfriend, or any Lovers). If you haven’t read the first 5 topics, check this blog: *11 Signs of an immature love relationship – Part 1*
6. Fights on very small issues again and again
Many small or silly things may not matter for you or your partner, but if you both often fight with each other on such small issues, and the fight goes on over a long period without getting any solution, then you need to do something about it before these small issues become big threat to your relationship.
7. Emotional reasoning
Emotional Reasoning is a common cognitive distortion in which people feel that what they believe is true… only because they believe so, without any solid base to support the belief. For instance, one may doubt that his/her spouse has an extra-marital relationship. There may not be any base for this doubt, but you think that it must be true just because you believe so.
8. You always seek a third person’s advice on your relationship
Sometimes we all need relationship advice or guidance from some experienced and matured people. These people may be our parents or family members or friends. But your relationship can land into troubled waters soon if you (or your spouse) are completely dependent on that third person’s advice and try to handle your relationship only by following their opinions.
9. Decisions are not taken mutually
Case 1: Since my partner loves me, they will accept whatever decision I take. So, I don’t feel it necessary to ask my partner before taking any decision.
Case 2: My partner never respects my decision. They will surely reject whatever decision I take. So, I don’t have to ask my partner before taking any decision.
– Marriage (or any love relationship) is all about living life by taking many small or big decisions together. It’s surely not good for your relationship if you (or your partner) follow either of the two ways as mentioned above before or while taking any decision.
10. Continuous Commitment failures are taken lightly
It is not possible that everything turns out as planned. You may commit to watch a movie or go for an outing or dine together, but can’t keep it. But if such commitment failures become the order of the day and you start taking such events for granted, it is definitely a sign of an immature relationship.
11. Focusing on ‘ME’ more than ‘WE’
Last but not the least, this is Very Very Important.
Do this simple experiment on yourself: Whenever you discuss with anyone about your home, your car, your family, your travel plans, your financial plans, etc. I want you to focus on your words:
* Do you often say “it’s MY home”, “it’s MY car”, “it’s MY family”, “it’s MY money”, “these are MY plans”…
* Or do you often Say – “it’s OUR home”, “it’s OUR car”, “it’s OUR family”, “it’s OUR money”, “these are OUR plans”…
–> By doing this very simple experiment on yourself, you will know how mature you are in your relationship. Remember… ME/MY is Immaturity, while WE/OUR is Maturity when it comes to a Relationship.
There are many more things that can define an immature relationship. I have taken 11 commons from that list. However, it is very much possible that you might be behaving immaturely in some of the cases mentioned above and your life partner in some other ways. To sort out all such issues and make your relationship mature, you both need to discuss the issues and try to find out solutions together.
Think about the following questions:
1. Have you (or your partner) ever behaved immaturely in your relationship?
2. What are those instances?
3. Are these issues resolved?
– If yes, what matured step(s) you (or your partner) took to resolve those issues?
– If not, what are your plans to resolve those issues?
Let us know in the comments section below.
इस ब्लॉग को हिंदी में पढ़ने के लिए इस लिंक पर क्लिक करें: संबंधों में अपरिपक्वता के 11 संकेत (भाग-2)
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